The Other Pleasant Boy
by Ginger Anastase
Summary: So after thoroughly insulting Valkyrie and straightening his tie an innumerable amount of times, Skulduggery is shocked to find the five-year-old version of himself appear in Erskine's office, adorable, scared and very much from the sixteenth century.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Well, hello there. So I've been mulling over Dark Souls and getting all depressed over LSODM so I was like, hey, this is an idea. So I got up off my arse and wrote this. It will be updated as soon as possible which maybe, I don't, 2017? Dark Souls will be updated as soon as possible too.

Chapter 1: Little Boy

"I've never wanted to hurt you so badly," Valkyrie grumbled as she shoved her hands further in her pockets, hood low over her face to deflect the torrential rain.

Skulduggery looked back at her. "You could always manipulate the water."

"That would mean taking my hands out my pockets," she said, "And that sure as hell isn't going to happen."

He huffed. "And you wonder why I get tired of you."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and plastered on a smile, skipping forwards to walk beside him. "But I am your most loyal combat accessory."

"You're amusing to make fun of."

Before she could react, they had reached the entrance to the Sanctuary. Valkyrie shook herself dry like a dog, spattering water on the dull stone walls. Skulduggery, being (pun unintended) bone dry, had strode ahead.

"Can you stop stalking off like you're about to kill someone?" Valkyrie muttered.

He turned his head back again. "I don't 'stalk off' just to kill someone. The killing normally happens by coincidence."

"Not a word of that suggested that you aren't a homicidal maniac."

"One tries one's best."

Valkyrie followed him into a thin corridor and they arrived at a desk, seated at which was the frustratingly attractive new Administrator.

"Hello, we have an appointment with His Lordship," Skulduggery said.

Miss Arrimyme Twyla smiled kindly and tapped a sigil engraved into the desk with a polished fingernail.

"The Grand Mage has been informed. If you'd like to take a seat, Detectives," said Arrimyme.

Skulduggery nodded and leaned against the wall by the bench while Valkyrie sat and fiddled with the zip on her jacket.

"Since when did we stop rebelling against having to make an appointment to see our friends?" Valkyrie inquired to fill the quiet.

Skulduggery tilted his head at her. "Since it ended up in us being arrested every time it happened."

"Damn, I hate it when we get arrested," she murmured, lowering her voice, "Or could it be that you wouldn't want to get on the bad side of Twyla over there?"

"Excuse me?"

Valkyrie held her hands up in the air. "Look, I'm not judging if you find the Administrator pretty."

The skeleton frowned. "So I'm not allowed to be in the same room as an attractive woman without being accused of subliminally flirting with her."

She shrugged.

"I'm around an attractive woman most of the time without flirting with her, Valkyrie," Skulduggery added.

Valkyrie turned her head away. "Thank you," she mumbled.

"Yes, I'm around Fletcher a lot of the time and I don't flirt with him. He's the most attractive woman I've ever met."

She scowled.

"I'm joking."

"I thought you meant me. That was just mean," Valkyrie grumbled.

"What?" he said.

"I thought you were actually being nice and complimenting me but you were just being irritating and calling Fletcher a woman."

"Ah," Skulduggery muttered, "I've obviously upset you here."

Valkyrie shrugged. "I'm not upset. It's just a thing. You're aloof and mean, I understand."

A beat passed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you by calling Fletcher a woman," he amended, knowing full well what he was doing wrong.

"I will kill you one day."

Valkyrie started sulking until the double doors to their right opened by themselves with an unimpressive squeak.

"The Grand Mage will see you now," Arrimyme announced, smiling brilliantly.

Valkyrie huffed as she got up and strode away stormily

"And she accuses me of stalking off," he muttered to himself.

By the time Skulduggery had made it to the throne room, Valkyrie had appeared to have softened. It was most probably due to the unexpected appearance of Dexter Vex who was sat sloppily in a chair to their left.

"Dexter, what are you doing here?" Skulduggery exclaimed, shaking his hand warmly.

"I was called in. Erskine can't live without me," he said, grinning, "It's good to see you again."

He turned his welcome attentions to Valkyrie, whom he hugged tightly and kissed her cheek. "You're looking absolutely ravishing."

She looked pointedly at Skulduggery. "_Thank _you."

"Hmmm, yes, you've rather grown up from the last time I saw you. How old are you now?" he asked suggestively.

Skulduggery cleared his throat. "Erskine, can you hurry up before Valkyrie falls over."

The girl in question glowered at him. "I was _not_ about to fall over."

Erskine, smiling smugly, stood from his throne, grimacing as his robes moved around him like he'd forgotten he was wearing them.

"The reason for Dexter's being here is, funnily enough, not purely for Valkyrie's entertainment."

Dexter raised an eyebrow. "What's going on, Erskine?"

"You don't know either?" Skulduggery said, snapping his head towards his friend.

He shook his head.

"There's been an unexpected visitor," Erskine smirked vaguely.

Valkyrie scoffed. "If you don't tell us what's going on-"

"Now, now, Valkyrie, dear," Erskine chided, "If you would follow me."

The small group irritably followed their ambiguous friend through the back door of the throne room and into a separate office area that had a much more modern feel to it.

A large desk similar to Arrimyme's stood in the middle with an armchair facing away from the doorway behind it. Erskine had hung a mirror on the wall to aid his vanity and a few pictures scattered the pine shelves fixed around the walls. A lamp hung from the ceiling and filled the place with a comforting glow.

"What is it?" Dexter sighed.

Erskine grinned. "Wait and see," he said.

He turned his head to the armchair and he held out his hand. "Come here, young man."

All present frowned as a small pale hand clasped in Erskine's large paw and a thud sounded as the owner of the hand jumped out of the chair.

Both Dexter and Skulduggery took a sharp breath as a small boy appeared next to Erskine while Valkyrie continued to look bemused.

The child was dressed in brown farming trousers and a loose white shirt; truly old fashioned clothes. His face was a handsome one for a boy of about five years old. He had dark curly hair and humongous green eyes with long lashes that he looked up through expectantly. Valkyrie deduced that this little boy, with his big blinking eyes and nervous expression, was absolutely adorable. He raised his hand to his mouth so he could nibble on his nails.

"No way," Dexter gasped, running a hand through his hair.

Valkyrie frowned. "Who is this?"

"That's not even a tiny bit possible," Skulduggery grumbled under his breath, "So of course it would happen."

"Will someone tell me who this is?" the girl asked, frustrated.

Erskine continued to grin unreservedly. "You won't believe me if I tell you."

"But telling me would benefit your well-being greatly," she warned.

Dexter kneeled in front of the little boy and held out his hand. "It's nice to see you again. You won't recognise me; I've grown up a bit."

The child bit his lip worriedly but soon let a beautiful smile spread across his face. He shook Dexter's hand.

"I swear to God if _you _don't tell me who he is," Valkyrie fumed, turning to Skulduggery, "Your gorgeous collection of suits will cease to-"

"It's…uh," Skulduggery said breathlessly.

Valkyrie's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

Erskine took his turn to explain. "This is…erm… this is Skulduggery."

Valkyrie smirked and almost laughed. She was expecting one of them to laugh with her but they all remained straight faced.

"I'm pretty sure _that's_ Skulduggery," she said, pointing to the skeleton on her right.

Erskine rolled his eyes. "You know, Skulduggery wasn't always a skeleton. I was young when I first met him, I immediately knew it was him. This is Skulduggery from the sixteenth century."

"Excuse me?"

Erskine ignored her unintelligent responses and carried on. "I've got no idea how he got here."

Skulduggery, seeming to have snapped out of his reverie, tugged clasped his hands together nervously. She'd never seen him do that before. "But we have to get him back." Skulduggery stated firmly, "This is going to change my future. This… this can't be happening."

"If you could please tell me what's going on!"

Valkyrie felt a tug on her jacket. She looked down and found the little boy gazing up at her.

"P-perhaps I c-c-could explain, Miss," he said.

Valkyrie smiled kindly and held back her anger. She crouched down in front of him and nodded.

"M-m-my name is Conall Meagher. I d-don't know how I g-g-got here, Miss, I don't rem-m-member," he stammered, "S-s-sorry, Miss, I got a st-stutter."

Valkyrie let her mouth hang open. Without looking away from Conall's face, she addressed Skulduggery. "See, it can't be you. You're name's Skulduggery."

Skulduggery sighed. "Skulduggery wasn't my given name, Valkyrie. I wouldn't have chosen a name for myself at that age."

"So your given name was Conall?" she asked.

Skulduggery hesitated. "Yes."

It suited him. She didn't say so; somehow it didn't feel appropriate in that situation. But, no, this wasn't Skulduggery. She couldn't believe that. It couldn't be. Valkyrie speculated Conall's face, her eyes narrowing. His eyebrows furrowed under her gaze, like he was scared but he jutted his chin out in an attempt to feel braver.

"No way," she said finally, "Nu-uh, this can't be you. Not even a chance. This is a trick, it has to be. They can't have perfected time travel in the 1600's. No way."

No-one responded. Even Erskine had lost his smile now that the gravity of the situation hit.

"You're kidding me?" Valkyrie grumbled.

Conall continued to get more and more frightened as the silence went on. His hands trembled a little as he clasped them together. Valkyrie gaped as her head spun back and forth between the two Skulduggery's as they mirrored each other in nervousness.

"W-w-where am I?" he asked as loudly as he could muster.

Valkyrie faced back to Conall. "Skulduggery?"

"Hmmm?"

"Didn't you tell me that you had a stutter as a young boy?"

He nodded.

"So, if this," she gestured to Conall, "is you and you have in fact travelled in time for one reason or another, and we can't get you back…"

She turned her head to Skulduggery. "Then what's going to happen to you?"

"I don't know. I have no memory of this. I never travelled forwards in time. This literally isn't possible."

Valkyrie frowned. "I don't understand."

"If I am here, then the young me, Conall, I mean, can't have stayed here for good and lived out his… my life in the twenty-first century. I'm almost-living proof."

She smiled at that.

"So we must have got him back to his own time so he could grow up to become you," Dexter finished, "Wiped his mind or something so it wouldn't affect your future."

Skulduggery hastily got up and straightened his hat. "I'll get to work on research. The faster we get him back to my own time, the better."

Valkyrie, shocked by his acceptance of this turn of events, swallowed when she glanced back down at Conall as Skulduggery swept out the room, wanting to get away from them as quickly as possible.

She'd imagined that a young Skulduggery would have dark curly hair but the green eyes were an interesting feature she hadn't expected. Not that she had been expecting a young Skulduggery to turn up on their doorstep.

It was funny, knowing it was him and seeing him with skin. He was a very handsome boy and she could imagine how he'd be pined after in his teenage years. That made her chuckle; the thought of Skulduggery dealing with a pack of girls fluttering their eyelashes at him.

"Hey," she said to him, kneeling down so she was at his level (he was quite a small five-year-old), "Everything's going to be okay."

Conall looked up at her and, again, she was in awe at his huge eyes. "B-b-but, Miss, I d-d-on't think it will b-b-be."

Valkyrie had a lot of experience in dealing with upset small children when Alice had scraped her knee. But this was the child-version of her best friend, who didn't know where he was or what was going on. He was without his parents or anyone he knew, in his lifetime anyway.

She held a protective arm around him and pulled him slowly into a hug. He buried his face in her shoulder and stilled.

"What's going to happen if we don't get him back?" she whispered over Conall's shoulder to Dexter and Erskine.

They stiffened up and looked at each other. "I don't know. I'm reassured by the fact that we _must _have gotten Conall back to his own time if he grows up to be Skulduggery but… I don't know, Valkyrie."

She didn't know which of them had spoken.

"W-what's your name, Miss?" Conell asked when he pulled away from her shoulder.

Valkyrie smiled. "Valkyrie Cain. Nice to meet you."

"You're friends with a skeleton, Miss C-c-ain," he replied, grinning.

She chuckled. "You don't know the half of it."

**A/N: **Did you like it? I promise all will be revealed and will hopefully make sense.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **So, Part 2. It's a bit of a filler but meh. Thank you so much to those who read Chapter 1:

EJ26: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Tanzani Coil – The Only: I was hoping it sounded cute. Thank you :)

clarity sky: Wow, thank you! I'm sorry if the updates aren't very regular but I'll try my best.

Louisiana Stephenic: Thank you! I know, I had major fangirl attacks when the book said that Skulduggery had a stutter. Please let me live long enough to see it. Please?

vampirenerd 1268: Thanks! :)

Guest: Hehehe, thanks.

LuvRuePrim: Thank you, I'm glad you thought it was cute :)

Skulduggery Fan: Thank you! I totally agree with you on that, but like you say, I found it hard to write without saying who Conall was right away. The criticism is much appreciated :)

Guest: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

On to the story

Love, Ginger

Chapter 2: Little Talk

The tunnel was dark and dank, full of scuttling sounds that ricocheted off the walls. The poor girl wrapped her cardigan more tightly around her as she searched the area with her eyes, looking for the tell-tale glow of the monsters eyes. The echo of a cough reverberated around the tunnel and the girl spun around in the direction of it.

The monster's irises shone like flashlights cast in the mechanics of her torn up face.

"I've got news for you, Mistress," muttered the girl, mid-bow.

The monster appraised her nails, her face full of condescension. "What is it now?"

The girl was shaking with fright. She hated being near Mistress. "The Grand Mage has a boy in his ranks."

The monster raised an eyebrow. "And why should that interest me?"

She let out a long breath as the monster flexed her fingers. "It _appears_ to be something of interest, Mistress. They say – Mage Ravel says – that it is Skulduggery Pleasant."

"Really, now? What a fanciful lie that is. What trick are you trying to pull here?" the monster huffed, taking a step forwards.

"No, no trick, Mistress, they really believe it and they – they are his closest friends, they'd no if it was really him."

The monster would've pouted if she had any skin on that part of her face. "Fine, thank you. Do you know how this boy came to be in this time?"

"They don't know, Mistress, they're so confused. They're going to try and get him back to his own time or the skeleton will, kind of, fade away, I expect."

The monster nodded, enjoying this morsel more and more.

"Thank you, Arrimyme, for this. It has proved… substantial."

Arrimyme bowed jerkily. "You plan to kill him?"

"It is a possibility. Think how the war would've gone without Mr Pleasant to save the day with his Dead Men."

Arrimyme frowned. "But you don't know how that could affect history. It could prove worse for you if you have no idea what you're –"

The monster cut her off by launching out a lanky claw that stretched into her stomach and forced out the other side. Arrimyme looked down at herself, impaled on an arm and let her eyes roll back into her head.

"Now I have to find another messenger," the monster muttered as she retracted her claw and picked the shreds of intestine off it.

…

"What was all that about, Mr Tactful?" Valkyrie scolded as she found Skulduggery in the room of cabinets. He didn't raise his head as he flicked through a thickly paged document.

"What was what about?" he asked, trying to sound disinterested.

Valkyrie huffed and plonked herself down in a questionable three legged chair. "That kid is scared as hell and you just storm off."

"Might I remind you that 'that kid' is me? Excuse me for being a little on edge."

"I'm not so sure he is you, you know," Valkyrie mused, despite the evidence, "I'm mean, come on. This is just too weird. And that is me, inner demon and all, saying that _this _is weird."

Skulduggery gave up on reading and sat down in the chair opposite her, straightening his hat.

"What are your theories, then?" he asked.

Valkyrie smiled and got into a more comfortable position. "Okay, so Theory One: someone has created, I don't know, a robot thing that looks like you did as a spy or something to find out all our secrets or find out all the Sanctuary's secrets."

"Illogical."

"Okay, Spok, why is it illogical?"

Skulduggery sat forwards. "If this person wanted to have a spy, why would making it look like a young version of me be its best bet. It raises too many questions and it would be under too much speculation. And robots, Valkyrie?" he said doubtfully, "Besides, not many people know what I looked like back then."

Valkyrie nodded but let a smile spread on her face. "You were so cute."

"Shut up," he grumbled, "You're accepting that he's me, though, I see."

She pouted and caught herself. "No. But that was kind of my only theory so I'm confused out my head," she muttered, "Yep, my head is now a place with unicorns and world peace and time travel from the 1600's."

"The world peace doesn't sound too bad but is that level of unreality really too different from skeletons in suits and blonde women who can walk up walls?

Valkyrie sighed. "I suppose not but it's not healthy either."

"You're obviously an escaped lunatic. I don't think you've accepted the fact that I am a figment of your imagination," said Skulduggery.

She snorted. "Any figment of my imagination would shut up once in a while," Valkyrie muttered.

Getting up from her perch on the chair, she stole his hat absent-mindedly and fixed it on her head.

"Just for research purposes," she said, "I'm going to believe that Conall is really you."

He nodded. "Just for research purposes."

"And then I will perform a faultless interrogation on the five-year-old to determine who he really is."

Skulduggery grabbed a book from the leaning bookcase next to him. "I thought you were going to be kind to him."

"I was kidding. And plus, he is still a defenceless youngling, even if he isn't you. I'm not going to punch him in the face."

He nodded and thumbed through the book. "So what are you boundaries on the 'Five-Year-Old-Just-For-Research-Skulduggery'?

"Just for research," she clarified, "I will believe that he is you. I will believe that he has been transported from the sixteenth century through some sort time thingy-ma-jig. I will believe that we have to get him back to his own time or you will cease to exist. Outside of research, I will believe that this is absolute bullshit -"

"-don't swear-"

"-until further notice."

Skulduggery nodded again. "What are you going to do with him?"

She snapped her head towards him. "Me?!"

"Well, I can't look after him!"

"Why?" she asked incredulously, "I have no experience with children."

He snorted. "And I have?"

Valkyrie stuttered and flipped her hair out of her eyes.

He decided to save her. "Valkyrie, I had a child hundreds of years ago, I'm not exactly an expert. Besides, you have Alice."

"Who is a girl and much older than Conall."

Skulduggery crossed his arms. "But you're good with children."

"Yeah, so? He's cute and sweet and all adorable with his stutter but I'm not looking after someone who could be a mind-controlling robot. We'll just leave him in the ward."

"With Nye? I'm not overly fond of being close to Conall but I'd rather not leave my younger self in the company of a monster."

Valkyrie's eyes widened. "Maybe not."

"Quite."

"Still," she said, "There must be someone else to look after him."

Skulduggery waved his hand dismissively. "We'll cross that bridge soon enough, we just need to get started on research."

Valkyrie shut up and bushed her finger along the brim of his hat that was still placed on her head.

"Skulduggery?"

"Hmm?"

If Conall is you," she muttered, "Which he totally isn't. But if he is then how do we get you back?"

Skulduggery lifted up a heavy book like it was nothing and threw it at her. With a yelp, she caught it.

"That's what research is for."

Valkyrie grunted as she heaved the book onto her chair. "You aren't even a little bit scared."

"Although, dear Valkyrie, I'm not as sceptical as you on the matter, I'm still apprehensive about Conall. So if we don't get him to his own time then nothing may happen to me because Conall might be a fake."

She shrugged. "Or maybe your mind is at ease at the thought of Arrimyme out there."

"You're annoying. And also, she wasn't there when I went outside."

"Bit unprofessional," Valkyrie said, "Leaving your desk."

Skulduggery cocked his head to one side. "Anyone could get in."

"Uh-huh."

"I'll ask Erskine to fire her."

Valkyrie laughed and returned to the book.

Somehow Arrimyme's day couldn't have been made worse by being fired. You know, with her intestines falling out of her stomach in the middle of a dark tunnel and all.

**A/N: **Hope you liked it. There will be more Conall and plot and explanations in the next chapter. I promise anything that doesn't make sense now will make sense in the future. That was a pretty deep comment I made just there, I hope you're appreciative.


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